Ian McLeod Therapy

DEALING WITH WORRIES

Worries sometimes feel like a swarm of mosquitoes. No matter how much you wave your hands or swat them away, they keep buzzing around, demanding your attention. And the worst part is that worrying is often useless, rarely leading to a solution.

Worrying is our mind's way of working through problems.

CONTROL

But all too often, we worry about things we can't do anything about, trapping us in an endless loop. When that happens, the first step you can take is to distinguish between what you can and cannot control. This gives you permission to release what lies beyond your grasp and focus your energy where it'll actually make a difference.

You can do this by identifying your worry and then writing down the things you can and cannot control about it. For example,

You can't control :

Other peoples actions, beliefs or feelings

Past mistkes or regrets

Aging

You can control your

Words and actions
Attitude
Values and goals

SETTING WORRIES ASIDE

Worrying often feels like being stuck on a treadmill. Your mind runs and runs but gets nowhere. OK, you are worrying about something. Try to decide on the next step you will take to set it aside until you decide it's time to act. Don't try to solve the whole worry all at once.

Here's an example :

I won't be able to complete my work project in time

NEXT STEP

Tomorrow I will ask my boss for an extension

Now, set that worry aside.

CATASTROPHISING

When people worry, they tend to imagine the worst thing that could possibly happen. This is called 'Catastrophising'.

In reality, these worries may never come true. What could happen is not the same as what will happen.

You can interrupt this thinking by evaluating the likelihood of the worry coming true and your ability to cope if it does. You can reframe the worries as unlikely scenarios that can be managed or accepted if they do occur.

Ask yourself :

Have you had this same worry in the past? If so, how did things work out?
If you were to bet all your money on the worry coming true - how safe a bet would it be?
Imagine your best friend comes to you with the same worry, what would you advise?
What are some clues that your worry won't come true?
If your worry doesn't come true, what will happen instead?
If your worry did come true, what are some of the ways you could cope with it or accept it?

These are sound and proven psychological tactics that you can try to counter and deal with your worries. If you still feel unable to cope, don't struggle in silence.

If you're struggling with worries, don't struggle in silence.

Ian McLeod CHP(NC), MNSHP&M, DPLT